My sister's unemployed loser junkie boyfriend lost his apartment on the first. Imagine that, right? So where does this waste of breath go to live? Why, with his girlfriend, of course! Which happens to be where I live. And I live in the living room.

(Yes, still. I don't want to hear it. At least my little niche of the living room is sectioned off somewhat now.)

And you know, I can almost stand the fact that he used my towels and my comb. (No one uses my comb.) I can almost stand the fact that he consistently woke me up every single morning walking around the living room, talking away with his buds on his cell phone, fully aware that I was right there trying to sleep. I can stand the fact that he invites his friends over, where they chat away on the phone, and actually negotiate drug dealings in the same room where I am trying to fucking sleep. I can almost stand the fact that he laughs EXACTLY like those hyenas from The Lion King. Incessantly. I can almost barely stand the fact that he and his pals regularly drink all the Dr Pepper that I bought.

The fact that, after depleting all the Dr Pepper, Diet Dr Pepper, Diet Coke, and Canada Dry Ginger Ale in the house, he decided to down half of my last 2-liter bottle of Pepsi Blue? Absolutely fucking inexcusable.

Your personal thoughts about Pepsi Blue aside, you don't just up and drink a sealed bottle of what (for me) might as well have been the last bottle of Pepsi Blue on the Planet Earth because you're a thirsty homeless coke-snorting prick who can't find a fucking water faucet. Fortunately Mom made him move out before I found out about that, or I'd have punched him in his snotty bastard hyena face.

So, ummm. Anyone got a place near them that still stocks Pepsi Blue? I'll pay for shipping and everything.